First and foremost, this is to Victoria Denise Gunvalson Jr.: a hero to many, a rogue to some, yet a shrieking mainstay to all. Yes something about her not being in the opening that makes me a small bit sad. She isn’t right here in she bright-blue dress on the orange background with a clever rejoinder like “Some speak I’m no all there, however I’m totally engaged,” because, girlfriend know, she and Steve Lodge are now affianced.

You are watching: The real housewives of orange county season 14 episode 1

Yeah, yeah, I recognize that ns was going approximately saying the we essential to fire great old VDG Jr., yet I just said that due to the fact that I didn’t think it would certainly happen. Now that she’s been demoted from Housewife come “friend,” I type of miss her. Or perhaps I don’t miss out on her every se, yet I miss out on the sense of continuity, the sense that we’re every in this together, the id that as soon as the ship lastly goes down, the going to be Vicki’s leaden human body dragging us to the bottom the the deep, briny ocean.

She’s no gone forever, and maybe following episode, as soon as Tamra has her barbecue and also Vicki is invited, the old nattering stress and anxiety will return and also I will certainly feel when again at home in the OC. Yet Tamra and also Kelly’s exchange about Vicki being invited to the party makes me wonder if what happened to Vicki has something to carry out with Kelly. Kelly claims she will “walk the various other way” if she watch Vicki. Do you think production chose Kelly end Vicki? ns don’t disagree through the decision, yet that is a really bold move (and certainly one that NeNe Leaks need to pay attention to vis-à-vis the return of Kenya Moore).

I don’t recognize if it’s since Vicki is gone or miscellaneous else, but this totality episode felt really disjointed. Yes, we’re just getting earlier into the swing the things, but all of the women seem therefore isolated from every other. Lock don’t all come together once during the first episode, which is odd. This previous season that Real Housewives of brand-new York City started through the females apart in two separate teams in the Hamptons, ramping up a confrontation between Team Luann and Team Dorinda. Even though the two sides no physically together, at least they were throwing barbs across the chasm of their separation.

The factions on OC it seems to be ~ much more disparate. Gina and Emily space on one side, mostly pertained to with the truth that Gina gained a DUI in the “offseason.” Surprisingly, this is not something that happens an extremely often through our Housewives. Gina couches it together going to a “mom event” and having a couple of too plenty of glasses the wine, saying she was feeling fine and was shocked she to be over the legal limit. Then we discover out that the passenger in her auto had a roadie, and also the snapshot takes ~ above a little of a salacious tinge, like Gina took a selfie of the moment using FaceApp’s ASU Sorority Girl setting, thereby giving her likeness to both Russian hackers and the Newport coast Police department at the very same time.

I do love the small sister/big sisters dynamic at play in between Gina and also Emily, specifically when Gina asks Emily if she disappointed that she got a DUI. “No. I typical yeah,” Emily says. Emily is no-nonsense and says, “You make a mistake, however don’t make one again since this can have large consequences and you might lose her kids.” it’s the perfect response, and I wish that Emily can be this much of a hardass with Shane, her starving earthworm of a husband. Also, we discover this illustration that Emily has actually a dog named Fisker and also Gina has actually a chinchilla called Shaiya, therefore they can also bond over giving their pets stupid names.

The various other axis top top the present is Kelly and also Shannon, a exciting odd pair of daffy broads the I would be happy come watch do just about anything. Castle share a brief conversation around Gina’s DUI, however that’s it. It’s choose these 2 duos space operating not simply on different shows, but in different universes entirely. And they rather are. While Emily and Gina are taking care of divorce and also problems in ~ home, Kelly and Shannon space swinging solitary ladies who biggest difficulty is the Kelly purchase an enormous Mercedes SUV the color of beer cheese sharts.

We view Kelly and also Shannon walk for a night on the city at the Quiet Woman, whereby they both now obtain a 50 percent discount for the amount of Housewives pan that have been packing into the share ever since they obtained in a fight over there two seasons ago. Shannon also invites among the dudes she’s dating, Ken, a.k.a. “Babe,” because he’s the very first person come ever call Shannon babe. The two of them begin necking appropriate there in the restaurant (you know Shannon calls that “necking”), and all of the OC pan who proved up at the Quiet Woman that night get an ext than your money’s worth.

Kelly additionally has a new man: Dr. Brian Reagan, M.D., who states his full name and qualifications at least ten times throughout the course of the episode. That so negative it’s practically as if his name is slim Girl or The Agency. Your visit to his office is sort of ridiculous: an initial he plugs himself, climate he plugs some jeweler wherein he bought Kelly a pair the earrings. Then we view him talk to Shannon about her trademarked FaceTight and NeckTight actions she just got a few days before. They’re as with a face-lift, however with much much less downtime. I don’t know, based upon the footage of Shannon gift driven house by Kelly v her confront looking prefer a sack of rotted plums, ns don’t recognize if the downtime is the inconsiderable.

The entirety visit is favor some kind of commercial for Dr. Brian Reagan, M.D., that seems less like Kelly’s boyfriend and much more like an advertiser. Was there some kind of contract whereby he had to acquire a certain amount of airtime talking around his practice? Also, would certainly anyone want to go to a cosmetics surgeon through a step-and-repeat in his waiting room? That’s sort of like going come a therapist who is willing to walk on a reality-TV show.

Along v these two duos there space two archipelago standing alone in this archipelago the a truth show. Over there is Braunwyn, the Kylie Minogue look-alike new girl who is already giving mine spell-check a workout. And then there is Tamra. Great old dependable Tamra, who has now gone complete circle and moved right into Coto de Caza, the “double-gated” community that to be the basis for this display in the very first place. Ns was gagging end the footage from the first couple of seasons of human being talking around Coto like it hasn’t remained in fashion because Sky Tops. That footage was so grainy and also awful, prefer something out of a horror movie, favor the ghost that Jo De La Rosa to be going come climb v the television and tell you the in 7 days you will do it be dead.

Yes, Tamra bought a new $2 million house also though she had a house custom-built because that herself last year. Whatever. The a woman’s prerogative to adjust her mind. That seems favor Tamra’s story line this year is at the very least going come incorporate the her earliest son Ryan, a grown gentleman through an inner-lip tattoo, and also one of her younger sons, Spencer, space not talking. It seems that Ryan is a MAGA-hat-wearing, Fox News–watching, “Lock her up”–chanting trump supporter and also Spencer is reasonable. I’m sorry. Ns shouldn’t editorialize. Spencer is no a xenophobe. GOD, i’m so bad at this. What I mean to say is the Spencer is an ext liberal 보다 Ryan.

Apparently Spencer called Ryan a “racist” since Ryan support the structure of Trump’s wall. Ryan thinks that he is not a racist and also is no much longer talking to Spencer. I do believe that Ryan considers himself not a racist, however, that is sustaining a policy that appears to it is in stemming from racism, even if it is overt or subliminal. Does the make that a racist? i don’t know. What ns do know is that these debates are splitting families all over the country and also it’s very real and also relatable that this is happening to Tamra.

See more: How Long Does Lactaid Milk Last ? How Long Does Lactaid Milk Last

That said, i adamantly execute not want this in mine Housewives. It’s favor a brownie do the efforts to supply you a daily dose the fiber. I desire my Housewives to be around yelling at every other, about bumbling with life trying to make a show, about getting wasted and also making a fool of yourself on a bar in Puerto Vallarta. I execute not want my Housewives come be around politics or real-world worries or anything approaching honest, real emotion. This is supposed to be an escape, and if the division that is rending the voting population asunder deserve to be discovered even here, well, over there is no place left come hide.